Re-learning an instrument feels a lot like getting your fingers re-set after a clean (bone)break. I cannot say how after an absence of about a year, I'm suddenly playing all this music out of nowhere, noone, and no explanation. Not questioning it. But, still, I've got blisters on my fingers...

And Sometimes They Make The Thing Pink...

I have a love/hate relationship with copy editing. Vainly, I defend the changes I make. They need to be there. However, I hate it when I'm put under the knife.

Because, you know, sometimes they make the text of your entire article pink and don't tell you until it's already "published":

God, why.

Annoying Optimistic Entry Time

I was all set to throw up my hands, let this thing go to the birds, (give this thing the bird, whatever), and now I've found that after accidentally ousting myself to one N. Pollari (who writes a solid blog), I have readership.

I am already corrupted by this knowledge and power. But it is a nice feeling.

The powers that be have given me a few breaks lately, in a direct reversal of the last few months. I can't say that I have any faith yet still, but meeting/making friends (not papier-mache), getting follow-up calls to my resumes, etc. may turn me into an optimist if I'm not careful...who cares that I start going off my rocker if I, like a cat, don't get enough winter sun in a day/worry that my arms and legs are improperly attached from time to time? Too much to love.

Is 5:37 in the morning too late or too early to be shot at/grabbed/mugged at in the dear inner-city. I just don't know. I need a walk.

Talking About Winter

I edit how I like. The notebooks I kept (when I kept them) had more torn-out pages than remaining filled out ones. 70 Sheet Notebooks were reduced to a lousy 30 pages--

SO it will be with this non-ink, non-flesh and blood material thing. I kind of resent that about internet things, nothing to hold in your hands. Just some QWERTY crap. (Although my keyboard here is elegant: black on slightly rounded black keys.)

I feel whelmingly (?) aware and awake tonight. Sick and it's snowy outside, but somehow that's softening everything along the edges.

Commercial break (ruins everything): one of the best presents ever received: http://www.forlifedesign.com/wholeleaf/280.html# (in orange)--'sides the mini-chess set from Hawaii (distinctly defined profiled pieces!)

How did this get to be about marketing and presents and dear lord.

Start here again:
I feel whelmingly (?) aware and awake tonight. Sick and it's snowy outside, but somehow that's softening everything along the edges.

I like that I can't take winter. I get the worst lobster-red windburn, my knuckles get so white that they look translucent. Walking through the unploughed no-man's land between the main streets and where houses start in thick Arctic Explorer boots--it's like running on beach sand in rain boots. Wildly inefficient. I like the necessary cocktail of tights/legwarmers/boots. I always feel like there's more purpose and intent in going out in some hell-froze-over weather.

A toast to winter. you bitch, you got me sick with your chills, stealth black-ice, and more wind. Love you.